Often we get caught up with our daily schedules, lists and agendas, timetables that fill up our days yet drain us of precious minutes. Holidays sneak up on us and add to the chaos with cookout, parades, and party invitations.
And while an aura of uneasiness settled over my morning routine I looked at the calendar, having missed a doctor appointment the previous day and now committing myself to better organization, and noticed the date and suddenly realized the reason for the emptiness. May 27, a prelude to Memorial Day weekend, and the day, eight years ago I lost a very good friend.
Alison Dodson was my friend and what I would call a spiritual sister. When our family moved to Columbus, we lived a stone’s throw from Alison and her family. Alison and her husband had both graduated from Amherst and it seemed ironic that we were now living so close to each other. Several years later when she was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer the journey was a rocky one and I just held on for the ride.
When the chemo kicked in I buzzed her hair and swept up the clippings from the kitchen floor. I shopped with her for clothes as she continued to lose weight.
Holidays were always a celebration at the Dodson household with food, kids in the hot tub, and pool volleyball. But that year I remember painting Alison’s toenails, red, white, and blue, as she laid resting on the sofa, because how could you go to the hospital without a proper pedicure.
She left that day, me promising to meet her at the hospital after I’d gone home to shower, change clothes and regroup. I promised her kids I would pick them up. But I never made it. I didn’t keep my promise. I got word she had died while I drove down Interstate 71, the day was sunny and James Taylor was singing “Fire and Rain”. Somehow the plans they made, the chemo, radiation, and all if it, had put an end to you.
Today I remember that Memorial Day weekend in 2002, the one I spent writing an obituary, and think about all the people who might view this weekend as not just a time to remember our veterans but all of our friends who have left, whose journey included a battle of a different kind, one they fought bravely, but overpowered them in the end.
We’ll honor others this weekend, my father, whose reissued Army medals I just received, and Mike Barvinchak, who was a Navy medic in Viet Nam and survived the horrors of war yet lost his battle at home with cancer.
I pull in the parking lot at work, another day, another battle of deadlines, shifting priorities and requests. But as I put the van in park a song comes on the radio and I pause, my hand on the ignition key, as James Taylor comes on the radio:
I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days
That I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times
When I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
Me, too, Alison….me, too. Sorry I let you down but thanks for the song.
Following is a list of books you might enjoy:
You can do this! : surviving breast cancer without losing your sanity or your style
by Elisha Daniels and Kelley Tuthill
Some of the best therapy comes from within. Help a friend by updating her look, new eye make-up, ideas and tips from someone who's been there.
Stand by her : a breast cancer guide for men by John W. Anderson
Chapters cover common concerns and questions from husbands who are on the front lines of the breast cancer battle. Topics cover "emotional fallout" and "Chemo: the shot heard round the world". Worth a look.
The unforgiving minute : a soldier's education by Craig M. Mullaney
A West Point grad, Rhodes scholar, and Army Ranger recounts his unparalleled education in the art of war. Nice personal narrative that includes "an appeal" as well as contact information for three non-profit organizations that help military personnel and their families.
Miss O'Dell : my hard days and long nights with the Beatles, the Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and the women they loved
by Chris O'Dell
Here's your backstage pass to some of the most momentous events in rock history. O'Dell was part of rock royalty's trusted inner circle and this tell all tale will give you the inside story to what went on when the Beatles, Dylan, Taylor, Santana, and others came to town. Nothing wrong with living the dream.
June is the number one month for grilling according to the National Food Safety Board. With holidays like Memorial Day weekend to kick off the official grilling season there's lots of events like the Cleveland Rib Burn off to get you motivated. Just because the Amherst Fire Department heads over everytime you get the grill out shouldn't discourage you.
Warm weather, holiday entertaining, and just enjoying the great outdoors are reasons to fire up the grill and fire up some fun with some great books from the Amherst Public Library.
Barbecue Bible! sauces, rubs, and marinades, bastes, butters & glazes by Steven Raichlen, is a great book to start with. No matter what your taste, there's some easy recipes here for basic marinades that can also be used for basting sauces. Marinating is a great way to tenderize meat and cheaper cuts of meat do great on the grill when they're prepared properly.
Emeril at the grill : a cookbook for all seasons by Emeril Lagasse will have you kicking it up a notch with some of Emeril's original spice blends. You don't have to be a television chef to put together some of his recipes that go beyond the usual summer classics to include great grilling options for year round dining.
Lots of celebrity chefs jump on the grilling band wagon. Bobby Flay started off at the grill when he first appeared on television. Now his book, Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill cookbook : explosive flavors from the southwestern kitchen, will take you beyond the grill, with recipes full of fresh ingredients. Flay holds true to his southwestern flavor palette but makes it accessible to the everyday cook.
Rick Browne, the host of the PBS series, Barbeque America, has put together his book The big book of barbecue side dishes : over 125 recipes. There's more to grilling than just the main dish and Browne will show you great salads, sides, and even desserts that can round out your menu and keep you out of the kitchen a little longer.
Depending on what type of grill you have there may be a specific cookbook for you. Grillin' with gas : 150 mouthwatering recipes for great grilled food by Fred Thompson is just one of many books that speak to specific cooking styles.
If you'd rather stay out of the heat, and out of the kitchen, order a pizza and relax with a good mystery while you're waiting for the delivery car. Pick up The Grilling Season by Dianne Mott Davidson. This is the seventh book in her Cordon Bleu series and has Goldy being hired to cater a hockey party. Will Goldy's fresh-baked Chocolate Comfort Cookies give her the strength to solve a baffling mystery that threatens her catering deadline, her relationship with her son, and even her life? Recipes are included and maybe the Chocolate Comfort Cookie recipe will have you back in the kitchen. Too bad you can't make these on the grill.
Two fire trucks! Come on...I only used three habanero peppers just like Bobby Flay!
Fans of Percy Jackson are lining up for the latest book by Rick Riordan. The Red Pyramid, Book one in the Kane Chronicles, hits book shelves this month and Percy fans will find that this latest tale seems right out of a parallel universe. Like his Last Olympians series, this new offering also takes place in New York. This time instead of Manhattan, Brooklyn is the scene for the fast paced action involving Egyptian gods and ensuing chaos. Witty characters, short chapters, young people with special powers, it’s a formula that works for Riordan and has fans lining up for his latest book.
Those pining for Percy will pick right up with14 year old Carter Kane and his 12 year old sister Sadie when mysterious forces descend upon the city and the teens get caught up in the action right from page one. While the publisher suggests this series for ages 10 and older, the action transcends word count barriers and reluctant readers, and busy adults, will find this book a welcome addition to their summer reading list.
You’ve read his books and seen the movies, but now, popular author John Grisham breaks into the Young Adult market with the character of Theodore Bone, a 13-year old who knows every judge and every policeman in his small town, as well as a bit about the law.
Sure he dreams of being a great trial lawyer, someday, but Theodore finds himself in a courtroom sooner than expected. A cold blooded killer is about to go free and Theodore’s the only one standing in his way. The resulting courtroom drama will have Grisham fans on edge as the suspense builds. Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer, available May 25, will keep you guessing until the final bang of the gavel. A must read for teens and anyone who enjoys a great courtroom saga.
